Slime molds should not be compared to Steve Bannon and this is why:

I would like to extend an apology to all slime molds to whom I may have given offense with my acerbic and insensitive comparison to Steve Bannon.  This was wrong.  And I am sorry.

Slime molds deserve to be recognized for their service, their beauty, and their strangeness, all of which are characteristics completely lacking in the caricature of man(un)kind that is Steve Bannon.

Without slime molds and their kin, the world as we know it would cease to function.  The dead would cease to decay, and the refuse of centuries would accumulate.  We’d be up to our ears in dead varmints and old fruits and vegetables.  Our soil would be barren, the diversity of life would come undone.

To this end, slime molds have nothing in common with Banno.

Bannon and his kin are unnatural.  They are refuse.  Death that refuses to decay.  All wrapped up as the alt-right or white nationalists, they portend to have a righteous claim to legitimacy.  Wrong.  They are Twinkies that refuse to rot, empty calories eschewed by decomposers more sensible, that would rather consume shit.  Life springs again from shit.  Not Twinkies. 

Slime molds know better. 

Steven Bannon and the alt-right he empowers are nothing more than reconstituted tribalists fueled by vicious memes and internet anonymity, peddling tripe disguised as intellectual discourse.

I’ll admit, I know little about slime molds.  I actually thought they were are a type of fungi, which I know a little something about, but apparently they’re not.  They’re something different entirely.  Something strange and unique.

And so maybe this is the point I’m looking for – the world thrives on diversity, on the strange and peculiar.  The rich system of bacteria, mycorrhizae, and countless invertebrates is the life of soil.  Otherwise it is dead, useless.  Nothing will grow, nothing will thrive.

Any fight against diversity is a fight against nature.  And nature will always win.   Bannon and the alt-right think they are winning.  They are wrong.

Steve Bannon loves kittens, sunsets over the sea, white-supremacists, and fascism.

Oh sigh – to bring this lowly slime mold into my once pristine blog-o-space.  I apologize to the slime mold.  The slime mold has an important, critical place in the ebb and flow of time and decay.  The slime mold does a nice job for nice reasons.

Steve Bannon, as far as I can tell, is a big ball of excrement.  I imagine his presence similar to the ball of feces rolled around by the dung beetle, but large.  Much, much larger.  For example, if you took Veruca Salt when she blew up into a big purple ball, but then transferred that big purple ball of Veruca Salt as a big ball of poo right smack into the middle of my living room, stinking like all hell, and doing nothing worth anything other than mucking up the place, making a godawful mess and attracting diseases, that’d be Steve Bannon.  In my opinion.  Sorry Veruca, but I needed something for scale.

Steve Bannon snuggles up to the alt-right, which means that he empowers white supremacists and pseudo-fascists, justifies their atavistic ideologies and provides an outlet to hate speech and vile dispositions.  That’s enough for me.  I think he also devours kittens.  I mean, why not?  I’ve done enough research on him that I can’t find any reason to think otherwise.

What will emerge from this vile, stinking ball of poo that is being ushered into the White House by the pucker faced tangerine that we’ve (who us?!? not me!) elected to run this big constipated mass of dysfunction, only time will tell.  Only time will tell, but if we’re going to hire racists and fascists to tear down the Washington elite that we, apparently, so abhor, I can only imagine the festering larva that will emerge from this shit show.